Why am I confused??

There are so many questions in our lives that we don't find an answers for....and those questions leave us confused......here are some of those funny ones

1. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
2. OK I know speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
3. If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out its nose?
4. If the #2 pencil is so popular why is it still #2?
5. If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
6. The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business... didn't they see it coming?
7. Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And If so, how would you treat them?
8. Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
11. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
12. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
13. Why is the word abbreviation so long?
14. If a word is mispelled in the dictionary, is it mispelled?
15. And if it is mispelled, how would we know?
16. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
17. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
18. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
19. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
20. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
21. If you are dialing from a touch-tone phone, Why do you call it 'dialing'?
22. Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
23. If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
24. Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
25. "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
26. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
27. Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
28. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
29. Can you get cornered in a round room?
30. Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
31. Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
32. Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
33. Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
34. Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
35. If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
36. Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
37. Why do you go "back and forth" to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
38. Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?
39. If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
40. You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?
41. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
42. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
43. How is it possible to have a civil war?
44. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
45. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
46. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
47. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
48. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
49. Why on Earth, with over 3/4 of our planet covered by water, don't we call it 'ocean'?
50. Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
51. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
52. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
53. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be wise to: "Quit while you're ahead"?
54. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
55. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
56. Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
57. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these people? Why don't they put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while delivering the mail?
58. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
59. After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
60. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
61. What's another word for Thesaurus?--Steven Wright
62. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
63. Why is it that when trasporting stuff on a car its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a ship its called CARgo?
64. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
65. If two wrongs don't make a right, then how come two negatives make a
positive?

-Manish

God : A false belief system

I had watched video from Osho sometime back. I was completely engrossed into it, as what he was saying made a complete sense to me. Anyway below is what I think...

Everyone has fears. But you hide them behind a virtual wall of a belief system. I believe a strong person does not need to have a false belief system, what we name as god. You can never hide the truth or run away from it. The only way to understand the truth is by facing it. You will face your worst fear your anxiety but you can never deny their existence in first place. By believing in your belief system you just avoid them, avoid the truth.

More over, anyone who gives you a belief system is like your enemy. Belief system becomes barrier between your eyes and the truth. By putting up that barrier, the very desire to find the truth disappears. Consolation you receive is like an opium. It keeps you unaware of reality. Life is flowing past by you so quickly, 70 years will be gone soon.

God does not exist and you don't need such a false belief system in your life which keeps you away from the truth, the reality.

-Manish

BCCI vs ICL

If you consider yourself to be a cricket fan and havent heard about ICL. Please go and read some news!

The obsession of BCCI officials have reached to a dangerous condition and recently, BCCI has threatened any player who takes part in ICL will not be considered for the selection of Indian national cricket team. I am shocked at this kind of threat. Indian fans want that they have best players and it is natural that ICL will produce some good players who would become asset for Indian cricket in future.

This shows the sheer greediness of BCCI officials. They don’t care for Indian cricket. They also don’t care for developing good players. They are only concerned about money and they are afraid that ICL will take away some money generated by Cricket in India.

If BCCI had taken the initiative to make Indian domestic cricket attractive then no body would bother about ICL.

GO ICL!
-Manish

Hope!

Saw Shawshank Redemption zillionth time today

Love it everytime when Andy says....
1) "Hope is a good thing....probably the best thing....and good things never die!"
2) "There's somethin' inside that they can't get to, that they can't touch. It's yours."

Love when Red says....
"You come here for life and thats exactly what they take!"

Will watch it again zillionth + 1 time!

-Manish

I am 6 year's old

It was a late start of the day, I got up at 9.00 am finally after snoozing the clock three times! Thinking about work, I hurriedly tidied up myself. After that 20 minute rush, Aadat song by Aatif cheered up my drive to work. When I got to my desk at work, the first thing that I noticed was the date......24th July 2007. Ooh my god.....I was awestruck! I couldn't believe it. Were those really six years in US???

I took a moment to think over my past six years, going for a coffee. It was hard to believe that the time can fly by so fast. These six years were probably most decisive years. I could feel each and every moment running down the memory lane. I could smell the fresh cut grass from the lawns of the house that I moved in with my friends as a newcomer. I could taste that first rajmah and chawal we made without missing a single step from a recipe book. I could feel that exact silence from a tiring walk after on-campus dish-washing job at the university canteen. I could feel the real heartache of spending hard earned single dollar for a coffee in that chilly winter night. I could feel my heavy hands and those tiring eyes after a long night spent at the research lab trying to finish the week's work in that night fearing the advisor's look at the weekly meeting the next day. I could remember each and every single scene from a movie that we friends watched countless number of times over and over every day. And many more....just felt like I am living those moments again. Back at that time it had felt like all that I was doing had no sense to what I had come here for. But now looking back, everything makes sense. Each thing that happened had some significance and had an impact on what happened next.

If someone had told me then, what I would be in next six year's, I would have probably laughed at him. Well, may be I will still laugh at him....may be...just may be.

Were those happy six years? Were those sad six years? I don't know...but they probably were the best six years so far.

I quote today..."Life is livable only because it is full of surprises...so don't run away from those surprises"

Six year old!
-Manish

Meeting the man

I met a guy today. May be known to only few of us, may be inspiring to only few of us, may be interesting to only few of us.

When I saw him the first time, I did not see anything strikingly different in him. He was polite, humble and seemed a little shy. More like a typical nerdy techi guy. No wonder I was not surprised, when I heard he did his PhD in physics.

But there has to be something special in him that took him to where he is at right now. This question kept bugging me all the time, while we all were talking to him in a casual dinner meet. To be honest, I was not at all impressed by his communication skills, neither by his personality. He probably was the most shabbily dressed guy in the room. Then what was it that made him special? What was it that made him leader of the path, only few of us would dare to walk on? What was it that inspired Ashutosh Gowarikar to base Swades's story on him? What was it??

I decided to talk more with him personally the next day after his presentation. I went on trying to introduce myself again, thinking that he might have forgotten me from last meet. This time I talked a little more only to find him standing like the most sincere guy in the world listening to my words. I took a lead asking him questions about himself. Followed by a little hesitation, he started to talk about himself and how it all started. After all his talk, during which he sounded more like a professor than an activist, I realized that he is not much different than all of us. What made him different was his sincerity, his dedication, his genuineness, and his passion. He was so humble in his explanations that he credited everyone other than himself for what he did.

He was inspiring...in a different way. I saw a very typical me and you in him.

I realized that it is first step that matters. If you are genuine and passionate in your beliefs, things ought to fall in place.

Yes I can do it and so can you.

-Manish

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The Pursuit of Happiness

Pursuit: Following something in order to accomplish it.

Happiness is important in life, but pursuit of happiness is more important. No wonder Thomas Jefferson coined it into the United States Declaration of Independence as one of the un-alienable rights of a man.

Movie "Pursuit of Happyness"(No I am not making a spelling mistake...thats how it is spelled in movie) is a really good movie. Worth watching once. It shows struggle of a man to attain something he always imagined in his dreams. Finally does he attain the "happiness" or "happyness" as in this context?...It is still questionable. But his plight and his fight is worth a sight...which you will like....well....might! (Hey rhyming words....c'mmon!!!!! That aint so bad!)

It is good to have pursuit of happiness...but it is also important to enjoy your journey towards it.

One of my very dear friend once told me, you are never satisfied with how much ever money you get, but you will be most satisfied after you get a good full-filling meal....so true!

I believe...satisfaction is good enough reason for happiness. And enjoyment is the best form to invest your happiness and get more returns on it.

So enjoy your journey...you wont get a second chance!

-Manish

Traveling

A Quote from Mira Nair's movie, "The Namesake".

"Through books one can travel without moving an inch".

But why get stuck in that inch when you can travel for real. Hahaha..no I am not trying to ruin the quote. I respect it from my heart as I have experienced it recently. But that was just a cry from my mind as it was trying to create my second choice. (You would know it if you had read my first ever blog on my reading habits).

The movie wasnt bad though....interesting. I wish I had read the original book from Jhumpa Lahiri.

Asymptote

I remember this mathematical term being taught to us in high school.

It was amazing. I was always fascinated by this particular term. The definition was "Asymptote is a tangent at infinity". I still remember professor stressing on that definition for couple of times in the class. It may sound simple to remember, but it has real deep meaning to it.

You know asymptote is going to touch your curve at infinity. Although that infinity may never arrive, you are still hopeful that it will touch at some point time. As opposed to parallel lines where you are sure that those lines will never meet each other!

Pretty simple for a theory but can be applicable in our practical lives!

Yes....where there is an asymptote, there is hope!

-Manish

Search for identity?

I was quiet unaware that I might think of this one day until I landed in the land of opportunities.

Who am I? Although that question could be answered in many different ways, I was always looking for one answer...the origin, yes what is my origin.

Even though Indians and India itself is proud of its different cultures, I believe we all share the same heritage. There was no way that I would have been exposed to different cultures of the world if I had not been to this melting pot of this century, the US of A. There are lot of things that happened which made me think who we as Indians are by origin. I dont know if it is necessarily a good thing or bad thing to think about something like this, but I always had this curiosity which made me research in that direction. Aryan origins and their migration and settlements, even DNA test results of present day Indians to trace their origin, I tried to gather as much data as I can from the internet. Was it really worthwhile? Probably some of it yes as I came to know some of the facts but most of that time was worthless as I did nothing but to find something that will discriminate myself from others.

In US, I have experienced lot of racial discriminating things, which I am sure you would have if you are from minority. "Go back to your Country" cry from someone buzzing in a car by you. A soda can thrown at you at Walmart parking lot. I have more that I experienced but I dont want to talk about them. I was disgusted by the fact that how un-educated these people could be that they are so unaware of all these different cultures and religions. As from the minority, it was easy for me to say that. I thought over it again...is it about America? No I am sure such things will and do happen in India and everywhere else in the world. People just like to feel the air of superiority over others by differentiating themselves from others. There are racial discriminations all over the world but that is because one race believes itself to be superior to others.

I was moved by the movie "Hotel Rwanda". It is about aftermath of when French people divided people of Rwanda into two categories based on their looks. And now even though French people have left Rwanda, they still are fighting amongst themselves for the superiority. If you havent seen the movie yet...go see it. I assure you that you will be moved by the incidents.

The other day I was talking to one of my colleagues who is Persian by origin. He was amazed when I told him that Persia was named "Iran" because the word Iran means something, to be specific "Land of Aryans". They believe the Aryans inhabitted their land or rather originated from that land. Hitler had same thoughts about his motherland before he went out of his mind. Anyway me and my colleague had a good talk as I was telling him how culturally and by language Indians and Persians are similar (Thanks to my some worthwhile research). Their new year, most of their words in day to day life from persian have their counterparts in hindi. But that is because Hindi originates from Urdu which in turn was invented by Mughals to standardize the language in their army consisting of turks, persians, afganis and indians. Indian history points to the Aryans settling on the banks of Sindhu. I dont know if its true, but thats what seems to be the common man's perception of present day India. I personally think this whole Aryan theory is just disgusting.

India is no different when it comes to discrimination. People in India seem to get wrong perception of the caste system in Indian culture. Brahmins or so called supreme caste of India believe that they are born brahmins! Brahmin = The one who knows Brahma/Everything. It is kind of degree you have to earn and not inherit from your parents. Why you think you are superior? And thats just not it....every caste has subcastes and they fight amongst eachother. This is just ridiculous. I am ashamed to call myself brahmin or any caste for that matter after any such discrimination.

Anyway enough of that waywardness in my talk. My whole point is: People do discriminate, and it is wrong thing to do. If you want to be superior prove it yourself and dont base it on something your forefathers lied to you about! It is just so lovely that we have people from different backgrounds and culture in this world. Like spices of life. It is just wrong to say one spice is better than others.

To again clarify my point: I am not talking about the revolution which will make us forget our traditions and culture, but I am talking about respecting and treating everyone equally without having air of superiority. It starts from your mind. Dont blame government for its laws. Ask this question to yourself before you blame others. And it applies to all of us...not just one race or caste.

So finally Who am I? A brown guy/sand digger for all the Americans? A Marathi/an uppercaste or a Brahmin for all the Indians? No I am just a normal guy who has no race and no caste.

Who are you?

-Manish

The D Day

"The D Day", so commonly used phrase nowadays. But hardly any day can be considered as D Day, that was my thinking uptil now.

I was wrong, its better to call few days as D-Days in your life. You will get few of those in your life no matter if you want them. Few days back was the D-Day for indian cricket team, the only chance to revive in the world cup 07 and they missed it! Anyway if I start talking about cricket...I will go on and on and on and there will be no end to this universe. So lets just stop it!

Acting...sounds easy aint it? That was my impression when I first went to auditions for the play. getting through the audition rounds was just the taste of what it was going to be later on. But I decided to go for it. It seemed easy...thought all one has to do is, remember his/her dialogues, have some face expressions and deliver. Well I was totally wrong. Everytime I went for rehearsals, the same dialogues over and over made me think, No matter how differently you try, everything was always the same, you are never right! It seemed like there was no end to this. Director's notes and harsh comments conveying exactly how bad your acting was, were like just icing on the cake. Thought that this was getting into my nerves. Then there was a light!...Everything started to fall in place, everything started looking great we were having fun.

The day of the final dress rehearsal at the theatre, I went into the audience seat, looked at the stage...reminded me of the Tilak Smarak, the center stage in Pune almost as good if not better than the Broadway theatre in NY. That was overwhelming...Gosh everything seemed like fun until now...but I realized this is some serious shit. If I dont do this right in my first try..its gonna end in hell. Reminded me of the phrase D-Day. Well may be I can use it here.

Imagine 750 people staring at you....and you are dumbfounded! An amateur actor like me....made them waste their 15 bucks (Dollars mind you not Rupees). Yes imagine how those people would have thought. Let me help you imagine, it will be something like..."I cant believe we paid to see some stupified crack like him on the stage mumbling the words even my pet dog could have expressed better!" That thought rushed through my mind only for a moment when I stood up to deliver my first dialogue facing the crowd. But then there was the first laugh...someone from the third row on my right side actually laughed and the rest followed at my so called funny shayari! What it turned into was a laugh similar to one in the Great Indian Laughter Challenge. That was it! I felt like I was on top of the world. And everything that followed was easier than I thought if not exactly a cakewalk.

It was over....Did I conquer it? Did I rock? Did I at least impress anyone? Did I not screw up? I dont know. Your friends are always encouraging...but do they really feel so? I dont know. All I know is...I had fun!

I look back...was it really the D-Day?...NO!

-Manish

First Few...

I always wondered what the heck is this blogging about!

Is it about letting people notice you? Is it for losers who can not get noticed in real world? Is it for those who dont have better things to do in life so they waste their time on web, posting things that are never read by anyone? Or may be they just hope that those blogs are read by people and those people will know you better?

What a crap!

I dont understand. But here I am writing my first few words. And what better way to start writing by using the system to bitch about the system itself. Anyway I am part of it and I realize most of those things I mentioned, are applicable to me. But you know what, I will readily accept all those things.........unlike you guys.

Well...I realize I have used enough foul language to freak out some of you who have lasted long enough on this page. Good luck reading through the rest of this crap then! Dont keep your hopes up, I am sure you will be let down in every sentence that I write.

I have been consistently losing my friends to this dark black hole named BLOGGING. As it caught up to me, I think I am getting indulged into it as well. I remember similar phase last year, but that time it was ORKUT. Now I am so addicted to it that its the first page that I open in my Firefox. (Thats right...I dont use IE as 90% of you people do. Yes.....KILL BILL!!)

There are so many things I want to write about here. But I guess I will let the time pass by and see how much excitement remains in me to actually continue this blogging thing.

I will write about my READING HABITS here as my first try.

First of all, the reason I chose this topic is because I dont have much to write about it, so it will be over in few. Anyway I believe, in my life I have always had a choice when I was offered books. A bestseller hard bound beautiful book under a lighted christmas tree wrapped up in red scented gift-wrapping paper wanting to catch your attention or a really weathered cricket bat lying in a corner that you can hardly notice in such a dark room. The choice has been very easy for me as I always went with the cricket bat. And I took it as my pride as well, may be because I have always been good on the playground. Infact I have proudly mentioned to few people, "I can read but I can not". Not that I was bad at my schoolwork and so I had to switch. I have had good grades and have made it so far to earn myself something in my field. But I think the book reading just hasn't been my cup of tea until now. Be it a textbook, which will promise you to get 100% if you read it through or a sci-fi thriller, which will take you for a ride of future, I havent had enough interest in them until now. But now that I am going for it, I hope that reading a book is as satisfying as taking a wicket of the best batsman on the opponent side by your in-swinging yorker. As satisfying as bowling a nerve-cracking bouncer to a trash talker from some country that you hate the most. I hope it is as satisfying as scoring the winning goal for your team after 90 minutes of tiring soccer game. I hope it is as enjoyable as seeing an expression on your opponents face after you smash an ace on his face. As satisfying as when you make a new record for 400m sprint. I hope its as tiring as when you go on a crosscountry for 25km run and actually finish it. I hope its as memorable as the state level final game. Or atleast I hope it is as satisfying as that walk out of the gym after a heavy routine workout.

It may be or may not be, I dont know but it doesnt hurt trying. So thats what I am gonna do, I am splitting my time between things that I like and things I hope I like. Its been good so far as I finished reading more books in last month than I read in my whole life until now.

I feel that I always created the second choice, now I am trying to catch up.

Wish me good luck in this new venture.

-Manish