Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Why am I confused??



There are so many questions in our lives that we don't find an answers for....and those questions leave us confused......here are some of those funny ones

1. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
2. OK I know speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?
3. If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out its nose?
4. If the #2 pencil is so popular why is it still #2?
5. If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
6. The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business... didn't they see it coming?
7. Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And If so, how would you treat them?
8. Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
11. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
12. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
13. Why is the word abbreviation so long?
14. If a word is mispelled in the dictionary, is it mispelled?
15. And if it is mispelled, how would we know?
16. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
17. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
18. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
19. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
20. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
21. If you are dialing from a touch-tone phone, Why do you call it 'dialing'?
22. Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?
23. If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?
24. Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
25. "Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?
26. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
27. Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
28. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
29. Can you get cornered in a round room?
30. Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
31. Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
32. Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
33. Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
34. Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear?
35. If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
36. Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
37. Why do you go "back and forth" to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
38. Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?
39. If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
40. You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?
41. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
42. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
43. How is it possible to have a civil war?
44. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
45. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
46. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
47. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
48. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
49. Why on Earth, with over 3/4 of our planet covered by water, don't we call it 'ocean'?
50. Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
51. Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
52. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
53. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be wise to: "Quit while you're ahead"?
54. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
55. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
56. Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons and forks. What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
57. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these people? Why don't they put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while delivering the mail?
58. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?
59. After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?
60. If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
61. What's another word for Thesaurus?--Steven Wright
62. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
63. Why is it that when trasporting stuff on a car its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a ship its called CARgo?
64. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
65. If two wrongs don't make a right, then how come two negatives make a
positive?

-Manish